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Diffstat (limited to 'index.php')
| -rw-r--r-- | index.php | 380 |
1 files changed, 380 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/index.php b/index.php new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fdae17a --- /dev/null +++ b/index.php @@ -0,0 +1,380 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html> +<html lang="en"> + <head> + <meta charset="utf-8"> + <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1"> + <link href="style.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" media="all"> + <style> + body { + margin-top: 0; + margin-bottom: 0; + } + + main { + height: 100%; + display: flex; + flex-direction: column; + justify-content: center; + align-items: center; + } + main > :is(div, nav) { + width: 100%; + } + + #webrings > div { + margin: var(--stdpadding); + } + #webrings div :is(a, span) { + padding: initial; + margin: initial; + background: none; + border-left: none; + } + + #guys { + position: fixed; + bottom: 0; + left: 3rem; + font-size: 0; + } + #guys > * { + margin-right: var(--stdpadding); + } + #bubblecolumn { + position: absolute; + right: 7%; + top: 0; + width: 29px; + height: 100%; + background-image: url(images/bubblecolumn1.gif); + background-repeat: repeat-y; + } + #bucketfish, .bflink { + --red: #ffcaca; + --orange: #ffedc1; + --yellow: #feffb8; + --green: #c4ffcb; + --blue: #add8ff; + --purple: #ccafe9; + --darkgreen: #3E885B; + --darkblue: #7fb4f5; + --background: #454545; + --rainbowright: linear-gradient(to right, var(--red) 0%, var(--orange) 20%, var(--yellow) 40%, var(--green) 60%, var(--blue) 80%, var(--purple) 100%); + + color: var(--purple); + display: inline-block; + position: relative; + text-decoration: none; + transition: linear .2s; + } + #bucketfish:before, .bflink:before { + background: var(--rainbowright); + content: ''; + height: 2px; + position: absolute; + bottom: -1.5px; + width: 100%; + left: 50%; + transform: translateX(-50%); + transition: width 0.2s ease-in-out; + } + .bflink:hover { + color: var(--purple); + } + #bucketfish:hover:before, .bflink:hover:before { + width: 0; + } + #bucketfish span { + animation-delay: var(--n); + animation: wave 1.5s linear var(--n) infinite forwards running, rainbow 3s linear var(--n) infinite forwards running; + position: relative; + } + + @media (prefers-reduced-motion) { + #bubblecolumn { + display: none; + } + #bucketfish span { + animation: none; + } + } + @media only screen and (hover: none) { + #rightsidebg { + box-shadow: none; + } + main { + justify-content: initial; + height: initial; + } + #guys { + position: initial; + bottom: initial; + left: initial; + } + body { + display: flex; + flex-direction: column; + justify-content: space-between; + } + } + + @keyframes wave{ + 0% {top: 0px;} + 25% {top: -1px;} + 50% {top: 0px;} + 75% {top: 1px;} + 100% {top: 0px;} + } + + @keyframes rainbow{ + 0% {color: var(--red);} + 17% {color: var(--orange);} + 33% {color: var(--yellow);} + 50% {color: var(--green);} + 67% {color: var(--blue);} + 83% {color: var(--purple);} + 100% {color: var(--red);} + } + </style> + <?php + include($_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'] . '/seasonal.php'); + if(!preg_match('/(headless.*)/i', $_SERVER['HTTP_USER_AGENT'])) { + $captions = array(); + $seasonal = false; + switch(date('m')) { + case 6: + $captions = array( + 'your gay', + 'the fuck is a gender', + 'trnasgener', + 'This site uses $_GAY_COOKIE_EQUIVALENT', + 'Supports LGBT!', + 'Banned in Florida!', + 'Are you cis or are you normal' + ); + $seasonal = true; + break; + case 10: + $captions = array( + 'Boo!', + 'Happy Halloween!', + 'World\'s ' . rand(1, 1000000) . 'th spookiest website', + '$spooky_captions[array_rand($spooky_captions)]', + 'I thought I\'d be able to come up with more Halloween captions to be honest', + 'It\'s the Spooky Month™!', + 'I vant to suck your blood! Just kidding... Unless...?', + 'This site uses $_HALLOWEEN_THEMED_COOKIE_EQUIVALENT' + ); + $seasonal = true; + break; + case 12: + $captions = array( + 'hoe hoe hoe or some shit', + 'Happy Holidays!', + 'World\'s ' . rand(1, 1000000) . 'th most festive website', + 'Like half of these captions are just lifted wholesale from the Halloween ones', + '$festive_captions[array_rand($festive_captions)]', + 'Merry Capitalism!', + 'It\'s winter! Nothing else special about this time of year, no siree!', + 'This site uses $_CHRISTMAS_THEMED_COOKIE_EQUIVALENT... I guess that would just be normal cookies, huh?', + 'Pretend I put Mariah Carey on autoplay here', + 'MERRY SHITSCRAM', + 'Merry consumerism!', + 'Do people eat turkey on Christmas? Is that, like, a thing?', + 'christmas isn\'t real' + ); + $seasonal = true; + break; + default: + $captions = array( + 'bruh moment', + 'Try reloading!', + 'Supports VPNs', + 'I use arch btw', + 'Stream deep twisty', + 'MySite.html', + 'Over Construction', + 'Real isopod hours', + 'Version 3.1: The Accent Borders Update', + 'Version 3.1: The Tables Don\'t Look Like Shit Anymore Update', + 'depytwisty', + '[object Object]', + '* You found the [Moss]!', + 'Minceraft', + 'Best viewed with Firefox', + 'Isopod gaming', + 'Website of some girl', + 'your mom', + 'Badly programmed', + 'Oh, you know ;)', + 'gamer (terminal)', + 'This is not a place of honor', + 'I can type interrobangs, watch‽', + 'ඞ', + '127.0.0.1', + 'assholes DNI', + 'swag', + '\'\'', + '$captions[array_rand($captions)]', + 'NFT bros don\'t FUCKING interact', + '<span class="minecraftsplash">Kind of dragon free!</span>', + 'This site uses cookies (chocolate chip)', + 'Now with reduced centralization!', + 'your gay', + 'the fuck is a gender', + 'The Only Website', + '𝓘𝓷𝓪𝓬𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓫𝓵𝓮!', + 'Follow me on Google+!', + '404: caption not found', + 'Web π compliant!', + 'If you\'re seeing this, something is seriously wrong.', + 'cringe', + 'don\'t smoke cigarettes kids they\'ll make your lungs sus', + 'real life isopod', + 'holy fucking bingle', + 'AI (Aquatic Isopod) generated', + 'crubge', + 'Only unpickle data you trust.', + 'Tested in prod!', + 'pwetty epic B)', + 'Known to the state of California to cause cancer', + 'Semi-modular!', + 'Did you know?', + 'shrimps is bugs', + 'Delicious!', + 'trnasgener', + 'Opinionated!', + 'Eurorack compatible!', + 'Hackable!', + 'HiDPI!', + '&mdash; addict', + '3D printed!', + 'Federated!', + 'Chitinous!', + 'is this a bedbuge?', + 'is this buge trans gener?', + 'Now in HD!', + 'COUNTER', + 'TUEADAY', + 'PLACEHIM', + 'UPSIDEDOWN', + 'RGB', + 'BLAHAJ', + '@BEAT', + 'HALO', + 'LIKECARPET' + ); + break; + } + $cap = $captions[array_rand($captions)]; + if($_GET['caption']) { + $cap = $captions[$_GET['caption']]; + } + $tit = $cap; + if(!$seasonal) { + switch($cap) { + case 'COUNTER': + $num = (int) filter_var(file_get_contents("views.txt"), FILTER_SANITIZE_NUMBER_INT); + $num++; + file_put_contents("views.txt", $num); + $cap = "This caption has been viewed $num times!"; + $tit = "This title has been viewed $num times!"; + break; + case 'TUEADAY': + $day = array("suday", "moday", "tueaday", "weaday", "thuday", "friaday", "satuaday")[date('w')]; + $cap = "wait it's fucking $day. god."; + $tit = $cap; + echo "<style type='text/css'>:root{--h1-image:url('/old/1/images/$day.png');}</style>"; + break; + case 'PLACEHIM': + $cap = 'place him on your site immediately'; + $tit = $cap; + echo "<style type='text/css'>:root{--h1-image:url('images/place_him.png');}</style>"; + break; + case 'BLAHAJ': + $cap = '<img id="blahaj" src="images/blahaj.png"> <a href="https://berrymot.github.io/">certified</a> Good Website by blåhaj'; + $tit = "certified Good Website by blåhaj"; + echo "<style type='text/css'>#blahaj { animation: spin 5s linear infinite; height: 1em; } @keyframes spin { from { transform: rotate(0deg); } to { transform: rotate(360deg); } } @media (prefers-reduced-motion) { #blahaj { animation: none; } }</style>"; + break; + case 'Kind of dragon free!': + $cap = '<span class="minecraftsplash">Kind of dragon free!</span>'; + break; + case 'UPSIDEDOWN': + $cap = '<span class="flipped">Upside Down!</span>'; + $tit = '¡uʍop ǝpısdn'; + break; + case 'RGB': + $cap = '<span class="rainbowtext">RGB Gaming Webpage</span>'; + $tit = 'RGB Gaming Webpage'; + break; + case '@BEAT': + $cap = '<a href="/stuff/beat/">@'.date("B").'</a>'; + $tit = '@'.date("B"); + break; + case 'HALO': + $cap = '<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N14uA0EhBAU">coke and fries halo</a>'; + $tit = 'coke and fries halo'; + break; + case 'LIKECARPET': + $cap = 'Check it out, I\'m in the <span class="house">house</span> like carpet'; + $tit = 'Check it out, I\'m in the house like carpet'; + break; + } + } + } + ?> + <title><?php if($tit) { echo "isopod.cool v3 - $tit"; } else { echo "isopod.cool v3"; } ?></title> + <meta name="description" content="real life isopod"> + </head> + <body> + <?php include('nav.php'); bg(true, 11, "Pictured: The eponymous Deep Twisty"); ?> + <main> + <div> + <h1 style="margin-top: 0;">isopod dot cool<sup>v3.1</sup></h1> + <h2 id="caption"><?php echo $cap; ?></h2> + </div> + <nav id="webrings"> + <div style="font-family: sans-serif; font-weight: bold;"> + <a href="https://hotlinewebring.club/bathynomus/previous" style="color: white; text-decoration: none;">←</a> + <a href="https://hotlinewebring.club/" style="color: white; text-decoration: none; font-style: italic;">HOTLINE WEBRING</a> + <a href="https://hotlinewebring.club/bathynomus/next" style="color: white; text-decoration: none;">→</a> + </div> + <div> + <a href="https://melonland.net/surf-club.html" style="color: #ff74ff;"><span style="color: #e7ad59;">melon</span><span style="color: #c0ea32;">ring</span></a> + <a href="https://brain.melonking.net/surf-club-random" style="color: #ff74ff;"><span style="color: #864cff;">?</span></a> + </div> + <div> + <a href="https://webring.bucketfish.me/redirect.html?to=prev&name=isopod" class="bflink">⥼</a> + <a href="https://webring.bucketfish.me" id="bucketfish"><span style="--n:-10000ms;">b</span><span style="--n:-9900ms;">u</span><span style="--n:-9800ms;">c</span><span style="--n:-9700ms;">k</span><span style="--n:-9600ms;">e</span><span style="--n:-9500ms;">t</span><span style="--n:-9400ms;"> </span><span style="--n:-9300ms;">w</span><span style="--n:-9200ms;">e</span><span style="--n:-9100ms;">b</span><span style="--n:-9000ms;">r</span><span style="--n:-8900ms;">i</span><span style="--n:-8800ms;">n</span><span style="--n:-8700ms;">g</span></a> + <a href="https://webring.bucketfish.me/redirect.html?to=next&name=isopod" class="bflink">⥽</a> + </div> + <div> + <a href="https://fediring.net/previous?host=isopod.cool">←</a> + <a href="https://fediring.net/">fediring</a> + <a href="https://fediring.net/random">?</a> + <a href="https://fediring.net/next?host=isopod.cool">→</a> + </div> + </nav> + <!--script type="text/javascript">document.write('<a href="desktop.html">$login<span class="blinking" >_</span></a>');</script--> + </main> + + <div id="guys"> + <a target="_blank" href="https://dokodemo.neocities.org/" title="made by Dokodemo"><img alt="An isopod!" src="images/isopod3.png"></a> + <a target="_blank" href="https://lu.tiny-universes.net" title="hi, i'm kevin!"><img alt="Kevin" src="images/plant1-2.png"></a> + <a target="_blank" href="https://newlambda.neocities.org/stuff/adopt" title="benlet"><img alt="benlet" src="images/benlet1.png" style="width: 32px; image-rendering: pixelated;"></a> + <a target="_blank" href="https://www.pixelcatsend.com/profile&id=3734" title="Shadow"><img alt="Shadow" src="images/shadow.png" style="image-rendering: pixelated;"></a> + <a target="_blank" href="https://tarraxahum.neocities.org/adopt/adopt_center" title="french fry"><img alt="french fry" src="images/fry.png" style="height: 2rem;"></a> + <a target="_blank" href="https://kelpeater.neocities.org/collections/isopods" title="Another isopod!"><img alt="Another isopod!" src="images/casiopea_isopod.png" style="height: 4rem;"></a> + <a target="_blank" href="https://shroom.ink/decay/adopt-a-shroom/" title="Ophiocordyceps Unilateralis"><img alt="Ophiocordyceps Unilateralis" src="images/Ophiocordyceps_unilateralis.png" style="height: 4rem;"></a> + </div> + <div id="bubblecolumn"></div> + <?php + if(date("w") == "5" && rand(0, 9) == 4) { + $ind = rand(1,2); + $filename = "images/flatworm friday $ind.mp4"; + echo "<div id='flatwormfriday' style='position: absolute;left: 0;right: 0;top: 0;bottom: 0;background: #000000cc;display: flex;justify-content: center;align-items: center;'><video controls=''><source src='$filename' type='video/mp4'>It's Flatworm Friday! Your browser does not support the video tag.</video><span style='position: absolute; left: 1rem; bottom: 1rem;'>Refresh the page to close this</span></div>"; + } + ?> + <script src="wimpod.js"></script> + </body> +</html> |