From 3b606bcc096a6d9860672e6d0d003ca9e80c067e Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Hannah Isopod Date: Sun, 15 Feb 2026 22:42:27 -0700 Subject: THE BIG ONE Total website redesign. Multiple new blog posts. Routine updates on several pages. Too much to list, even if I remembered it all. Remind me not to put this git repo on any portfolios. --- header.php | 227 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 227 insertions(+) create mode 100644 header.php (limited to 'header.php') diff --git a/header.php b/header.php new file mode 100644 index 0000000..02f862c --- /dev/null +++ b/header.php @@ -0,0 +1,227 @@ +Kind of dragon free!', + 'This site uses cookies (chocolate chip)', + 'Now with reduced centralization!', + 'your gay', + 'the fuck is a gender', + 'One Of The Websites', + '𝓘𝓷𝓪𝓬𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓫𝓵𝓮!', + 'Follow me on Google+!', + '404: caption not found', + 'Web π compliant!', + 'If you\'re seeing this, something is seriously wrong.', + 'cringe', + 'don\'t smoke cigarettes kids they\'ll make your lungs sus', + 'real life isopod', + 'holy fucking bingle', + 'AI (Aquatic Isopod) generated', + 'crubge', + 'Only unpickle data you trust.', + 'string(15) "Tested in prod!"', + 'pwetty epic B)', + 'Known to the state of California to cause cancer', + 'Semi-modular!', + 'Did you know?', + 'shrimps is bugs', + 'Delicious!', + 'trnasgener', + 'Opinionated!', + 'Eurorack compatible!', + 'Hackable!', + 'HiDPI!', + '— addict', + '3D printed!', + 'Federated!', + 'Chitinous!', + 'is this a bedbuge?', + 'is this buge trans gener?', + 'Now in HD!', + 'Hard Disk Drive!', + '"Tablet or smartphone device"', + 'Free Palestine!', + 'Girl, we\'ve been knowing how to draw.', + 'Upside Down!', + 'RGB Gaming Webpage', + 'It\'s @'.date("B").'. Do you know where your children are?', + 'coke and fries halo', + 'Check it out, I\'m in the house like carpet', + 'Ordered dithering!', + 'thats so weirdcore liminal analogue horror backrooms scp', + 'steals your data! gives you virus!', + 'this is where the funny randomly selected messages would go', + 'a8e!', + 'Better than Version 3.2 Gen 2x2!', + 'Partially responsive!', + 'On E since 2026/01/10!', + #'COUNTER', + 'TUEADAY' + #'PLACEHIM', + ); + break; + } + $cap = $captions[array_rand($captions)]; + if($_GET['caption']) { + $cap = $captions[$_GET['caption']]; + } + if(!$seasonal) { + switch($cap) { + case 'COUNTER': + $num = (int) filter_var(file_get_contents($datadir."caption_views.txt"), FILTER_SANITIZE_NUMBER_INT); + $num++; + file_put_contents($datadir."caption_views.txt", $num); + $cap = "This caption has been viewed $num times!"; + break; + case 'TUEADAY': + $day = array("suday", "moday", "tueaday", "weaday", "thuday", "friaday", "satuaday")[date('w')]; + $cap = "wait it's fucking $day. god."; + echo ""; + break; + case 'PLACEHIM': + $cap = 'place him on your site immediately'; + echo ""; + break; + } + } +} + +$host = $_SERVER['HTTP_HOST']; + +function echolink($url, $name) { + global $host; + if("/$url" != $_SERVER['REQUEST_URI']) { + echo "
  • $name
    • "; + } else { + echo "
  • $name
    • "; + } +} +?> + +
    + +
    +

    isopod.coolv4

    +
    + isopod.cool v4 +
    +

    +
    + + + + + +
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