From 3bb9c3a0f2023d131e773b3d799e9efb61333e5a Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Hannah Isopod Date: Tue, 3 Mar 2026 01:42:17 -0700 Subject: analytics --- nav.php | 276 ---------------------------------------------------------------- 1 file changed, 276 deletions(-) delete mode 100644 nav.php (limited to 'nav.php') diff --git a/nav.php b/nav.php deleted file mode 100644 index 97e7521..0000000 --- a/nav.php +++ /dev/null @@ -1,276 +0,0 @@ -"; - echo $output; -} - -if(!preg_match('/(headless.*)/i', $_SERVER['HTTP_USER_AGENT'])) { - $captions = array(); - $seasonal = false; - switch(date('m')) { - case 6: - $captions = array( - 'your gay', - 'the fuck is a gender', - 'trnasgener', - 'This site uses $_GAY_COOKIE_EQUIVALENT', - 'Supports LGBT!', - 'Banned in Florida!', - 'I hear they\'re doing gay sloth month next', - 'and for strait people just gn i guess ๐Ÿ˜', - 'Are you cis or are you normal' - ); - $seasonal = true; - break; - case 10: - $captions = array( - 'Boo!', - 'Happy Halloween!', - 'World\'s ' . rand(1, 1000000) . 'th spookiest website', - '$spooky_captions[array_rand($spooky_captions)]', - 'I thought I\'d be able to come up with more Halloween captions to be honest', - 'It\'s the Spooky Month™!', - 'I vant to suck your blood! Just kidding... Unless...?', - 'This site uses $_HALLOWEEN_THEMED_COOKIE_EQUIVALENT', - 'YOUR TAKING TOO LONG' - ); - $seasonal = true; - break; - /*case 12: - $captions = array( - 'hoe hoe hoe or some shit', - 'Happy Holidays!', - 'World\'s ' . rand(1, 1000000) . 'th most festive website', - 'Like half of these captions are just lifted wholesale from the Halloween ones', - '$festive_captions[array_rand($festive_captions)]', - 'Merry Capitalism!', - 'It\'s winter! Nothing else special about this time of year, no siree!', - 'This site uses $_CHRISTMAS_THEMED_COOKIE_EQUIVALENT... I guess that would just be normal cookies, huh?', - 'Pretend I put Mariah Carey on autoplay here', - 'MERRY SHITSCRAM', - 'Merry consumerism!', - 'Do people eat turkey on Christmas? Is that, like, a thing?', - 'christmas isn\'t real' - ); - $seasonal = true; - break;*/ - default: - $captions = array( - 'bruh moment', - 'Try reloading!', - 'Supports VPNs', - 'I use arch btw', - 'Stream deep twisty', - 'MySite.html', - 'Over Construction', - 'It is currently real isopod hours', - 'depytwisty', - '[object Object]', - '* You found the [Moss]!', - 'Minceraft', - 'Best viewed with Firefox', - 'Isopod gaming', - 'Website of some girl', - 'your mom', - 'Badly programmed', - 'Oh, you know ;)', - 'gamer (terminal)', - 'This is not a place of honor', - 'I can type interrobangs, watchโ€ฝ', - 'เถž', - '127.0.0.1', - 'assholes DNI', - 'swag', - '\'\'', - '$captions[array_rand($captions)]', - 'NFT bros don\'t FUCKING interact', - 'Kind of dragon free!', - 'This site uses cookies (chocolate chip)', - 'Now with reduced centralization!', - 'your gay', - 'the fuck is a gender', - 'The Only Website', - '๐“˜๐“ท๐“ช๐“ฌ๐“ฌ๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ผ๐“ฒ๐“ซ๐“ต๐“ฎ!', - 'Follow me on Google+!', - '404: caption not found', - 'Web ฯ€ compliant!', - 'If you\'re seeing this, something is seriously wrong.', - 'cringe', - 'don\'t smoke cigarettes kids they\'ll make your lungs sus', - 'real life isopod', - 'holy fucking bingle', - 'AI (Aquatic Isopod) generated', - 'crubge', - 'Only unpickle data you trust.', - 'string(15) "Tested in prod!"', - 'pwetty epic B)', - 'Known to the state of California to cause cancer', - 'Semi-modular!', - 'Did you know?', - 'shrimps is bugs', - 'Delicious!', - 'trnasgener', - 'Opinionated!', - 'Eurorack compatible!', - 'Hackable!', - 'HiDPI!', - '— addict', - '3D printed!', - 'Federated!', - 'Chitinous!', - 'is this a bedbuge?', - 'is this buge trans gener?', - 'Now in HD!', - 'Hard Disk Drive!', - '"Tablet or smartphone device"', - 'Free Palestine!', - 'Girl, we\'ve been knowing how to draw.', - 'Upside Down!', - 'RGB Gaming Webpage', - 'It\'s @'.date("B").'. Do you know where your children are?', - 'coke and fries halo', - 'Check it out, I\'m in the house like carpet', - 'Ordered dithering!', - 'thats so weirdcore liminal analogue horror backrooms scp', - 'steals your data! gives you virus!', - 'this is where the funny randomly selected messages would go', - 'a8e!', - 'Better than Version 3.2 Gen 2x2!', - 'Partially responsive!', - 'COUNTER', - 'TUEADAY' - #'PLACEHIM', - ); - break; - } - $cap = $captions[array_rand($captions)]; - if($_GET['caption']) { - $cap = $captions[$_GET['caption']]; - } - if(!$seasonal) { - switch($cap) { - case 'COUNTER': - $num = (int) filter_var(file_get_contents($datadir."caption_views.txt"), FILTER_SANITIZE_NUMBER_INT); - $num++; - file_put_contents($datadir."caption_views.txt", $num); - $cap = "This caption has been viewed $num times!"; - break; - case 'TUEADAY': - $day = array("suday", "moday", "tueaday", "weaday", "thuday", "friaday", "satuaday")[date('w')]; - $cap = "wait it's fucking $day. god."; - echo ""; - break; - case 'PLACEHIM': - $cap = 'place him on your site immediately'; - echo ""; - break; - } - } -} - -$host = $_SERVER['HTTP_HOST']; - -function echolink($url, $name) { - global $host; - if("/$url/" != $_SERVER['REQUEST_URI']) { - echo "$name "; - } else { - echo "$name "; - } -} -?> -
-
-

isopod dot coolv3.2

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-
- -
- - - -
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"; - } -?> \ No newline at end of file -- cgit v1.2.3