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<!DOCTYPE html>
<html lang="en">
<head>
<meta charset="utf-8">
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1">
<title>Stats</title>
<link href="../style.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" media="all">
<style>
#statstable {
width: 100%;
}
#statstable td:first-child {
padding-left: calc(var(--stdpadding) / 2);
}
#statstable tr:nth-child(2n+1) {
background-color: #ffffff11;
}
@media only screen and (hover: none) {
#statstable td:first-child {
font-weight: bold;
}
}
</style>
<?php include($_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'] . '/seasonal.php');
include($_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'] . '/common.php'); ?>
</head>
<body>
<?php include($_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'] . '/nav.php'); bg(); ?>
<h1>stat tracker</h1>
<h2 id="caption">Powered by RealTrue™ StatAI™</h2>
<table id="statstable">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td>Storage space</td>
<td>47TiB</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Desktop environment</td>
<td>GNOME (Wayland)</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Layout</td>
<td>ANSI 75% + Knob + External numpad</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Switches</td>
<td>Keychron K Pro Brown</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Firmware</td>
<td>QMK</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>RGB</td>
<td>Yes</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>CDs owned</td>
<td>164</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Consoles modded</td>
<td>2</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Computers upgraded</td>
<td>3</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Computers downgraded</td>
<td>2</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Domains owned</td>
<td title="deeptwisty.com, isopod.cool, isopod.zone, bathynomus.xyz, flatfuckfri.day, isopod.mov">6</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Talent</td>
<td style="font-family: mono; color: red;">[Integer overflow error]</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Bitches</td>
<td>0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Species</td>
<td><i>Bathynomus Giganteus</i></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Gender</td>
<td><?php
$boogeraids = array(
'Unclear',
'404 Not Found',
'502 Bad Gateway',
'I dropped it behind the sofa, sorry',
'invalid null pointer',
'what does that mean',
'You fuckin\' figure it out',
'Not my problem lol',
'[]',
'I lost it in the accident',
'Listed <a href="https://genders.wtf">here</a>',
'AMD Ryzen 7 5700G, 32GB DDR4-3600 RAM, AMD Radeon RX 6800XT GPU, 500GB NVMe SSD, 2TB NVMe SSD, 4TB HDD',
'I forgor 💀',
'<i>Bathynomus Giganteus</i>',
'I\'ll figure it out later',
'gay',
'//TODO'
);
echo $boogeraids[array_rand($boogeraids)];
?></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>3.5mm headphone jack</td>
<td>yes</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Audio channels</td>
<td>mono</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Font family</td>
<td style="font-family: b612_mono, mono, monospace;"><a href="https://b612-font.com/">mono</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Sodium glutamate</td>
<td>7.1 surround</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Drop rates</td>
<td style="white-space:nowrap;">1-3 bags of Doritos - 80% <br>Wired earbuds - 10% <br>Random Linux install media - 1%</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Efficiency rating</td>
<td>80+ Gold</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Wattage rating</td>
<td>1000W</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Height</td>
<td>194cm</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Social Insurance Number</td>
<td>69</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Home address</td>
<td>12h 28m 24.97s, +31° 28′ 37.7″</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Most played game (Steam)</td>
<td>Space Engineers (734 hours)</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Most played game (in general)</td>
<td>Minecraft (Hours unknown but definitely high)</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Best Hand</td>
<td>756,276,480</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td title="Since this bit was added, anyway">Page views</td>
<td>
<?php
$num = (int) filter_var(file_get_contents($datadir."stats_views.txt"), FILTER_SANITIZE_NUMBER_INT);
$num++;
file_put_contents($datadir."stats_views.txt", $num);
echo $num;
?>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<?php
$booger = array(
"arch",
"bogos",
"Hotel",
"blood"
);
$aids = array(
"btw",
"binted",
"Trivago",
"inside (we think)"
);
$poopaids_copy = array_rand($booger);
$boogeraids = $booger[$poopaids_copy];
$aidsbooger = $aids[$poopaids_copy];
echo "<td>$boogeraids</td><td>$aidsbooger</td>";
?>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Number I'm thinking of</td>
<td><?php echo rand(0, 69421); ?></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Personality</td>
<td><?php
$ei = array(
"E",
"I"
);
echo $ei[array_rand($ei)];
$sn = array(
"S",
"N"
);
echo $sn[array_rand($sn)];
$tf = array(
"T",
"F"
);
echo $tf[array_rand($tf)];
$jp = array(
"J",
"P"
);
echo $jp[array_rand($jp)];
?></td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
</body>
</html>
|
